Edited by Ducky the Loon.
 

Roger: You know, the usual, Dick. Just a trim!

Dick: But of course, sir! (Begins to wash ROGER'S hair)

(KEITH comes in, being very loud)

Keith: 'Ow are you doing, Dick, eh?

Dick: I'm doing great. I'm just up to no good!

Keith: Giving the poodle a bit of a 'aircut? (ROG scowls)

Dick: Just a trim.

Keith: Well, carry on! I'm off to the 'otel.

Dick: 'Ey, buddy! I'm finished washing your 'air. Now we're ready to give you a trim.

(Suddenly, DICK makes a fist and whacks ROGER ont eh back of his head. ROGER faints and falls over. DICK removes a mask from his face, and we learn that he is really SMELLY MAN JOE!)

Joe: Bwahahaha! I will destroy the Who yet! I know...I'll shave head! (Takes out his razor and proceeds to shave ROGER'S head)My, oh my! This man has a thick head of hair! Grunts)

(It takes JOE a while, but he finally finishes shaving ROGER'S head)

Joe: Roger, ha ha, Roger! What will the ladies think of their sex symbol now? The Who will be destroyed! Muahahaha! Runs away quickly and leaves ROGER alone to awaken)

Keith:(Enters again with a pill bottle in his hand) Hello there, Roger...I brought you some Viagra. Roger? Where the 'eck are you? Looks about) Dick? Roger? You there?

Roger:(Groans and sits up)

Keith: Roger? 'Ey, is that you? Where did your 'air go?

Roger: Wot? Me'air? Where'd it go? (Cries like a baby)Where am I without me 'air?

Keith: Come on, dear boy, I'll take you to Master Pete. (They leave and KEITH calls a cab)

Cabbie: It's Keith Moon!!

Keith: Yes, it is.

Cabbie: But, who is this man with you?

Roger: Why, it's me! Roger Daltrey!

Cabbie: No way it ain't! Ha! That's hysterical. Why, if you're Roger Daltrey, I'm bleeding Pete Townshend. 'Ey, Rogah, wot 'appened to your 'air?

Roger: Shut up! Just do your job and drive!

Keith: (Very sarcastically) Ooh! We're scared now, Rog. I want me Mum!

Cabbie: So, where are we off to, boys?

Keith: Somewhere where the sun doesn't reflect off of Rogah's shiny 'ead!

Roger: Hahaha! Shut up! (Smacks KEITH in the face. Keith tries to get up and fight back, but ROGER growls at him. KEITH whimpers) We'll go to the 'otel. John or Pete'll know wot to do.

(ROG gives the CABBIE directions. Pulls his jacket over his head and runs to the hotel.)

Keith: Look at 'im go! Haha! 'Ere's your money, sir.

Cabbie: Don't worry about it! To think, I met Keith Moon and Roger Daltrey. Wow!

Keith: (Smiles Brightly)

IN THE HOTEL

John: Roger, is that you?

Roger: Yes, it is.

John: Wot 'appened?

Roger: Me..me..me 'air! It's gone!

(PETE walks in and does a double take)

Pete: Wot the bloody 'eck?

Roger: (Runs to PETE and grabs his leg) "Elp me, Pete! I need me 'air!

Pete: This is a funny sight, Roger Daltrey begginst me for 'elp! Haha! Get up, man, you're embarrassing yourself!

Roger: (Stands up and looks embarrassed) Wot am I going to do?

Pete: First, why don't you tell us wot 'appened?

Keith: I'll tell, I'll tell.

John: Why don't you let Rog tell 'is point of view first?

Keith: No! Me first!

(The BOYS take turns telling their stories)

John: THis sounds like the work of Smelly Man joe!

Pete: Yes, of course! John, you're a geniuis! But, where is'e? Wait! If I were a smelly man, where would I be? In the bath!

John: Eh? Wot bath?

Pete: Ours! (Runs to the bathroom)

Joe: (Throws a towel on) Oh, no! You found me!

Pete: Yes, we did, and now you must pay!

Joe: Well, okay. But, I only have two pounds with me!

Pete: Shut the 'eck up! John, call the cops!

John: Wot do I tell them?

Pete: Tell them there was someone 'oo broke into our 'otel!

John: Indeed!

Pete: Eh! Joe, you smell! (Throws him back into the bath)

Roger: Wot about me 'air?

Pete: Wigs, li'l man! Wigs! No one will ever know! To think that curly blonde nest isn't really yours. They'll never suspect!

Once again, Pete, using his brilliant mind and nose, has sniffed out the culprit. The Who is safe once again. Group hug!