Long, long time ago, I can still remember
When .500 was just a dream
And I knew if I got real rich
That I would buy that sumbitch
And make it into a pennant winning team.
But Bud Selig's warnings made me shiver,
The Hendricks' made me trash my liver
Enron made a faux pas
My friend just signed Chuck Knoblauch
I can't remember if I whined
When Swindell and Drabek robbed me blind
And won twenty lousy games, combined
The day I held the line.

Chorus:

So, Bye-bye, pennant for the Astros Drove my golf cart to the Wal-Mart But the Wal-Mart was closed My good old third baseman's putting coke up his nose Singing, 'I can't find my car, where'd it go? I haven't seen my 'Benz, where'd it go?'

Did you know we signed Ev-er-ett?
Carl or Adam? I forget
It doesn't matter 'cos we got Biggio,
We'll ship Mike Hampton to the Mets
We've still got Bottenfield, Reynolds, and the rest
And Lima Time to keep his pitches low.
With Hidalgo bashing long home runs,
And Ward and Berkman, our young guns
And Jeff Bagwell hitting from his squat
Joe Slusarski giving the best that he's got.
We got off to a lousy start
And Dierker never really looked the part
And then the season came apart
The day I held the line.

Chorus:

So, Bye-bye, pennant for the Astos, Drove my golf cart to the Wal-Mart But the Wal-Mart was closed My good ol' right fielder hit .175 for the Buccos Singing, 'There's a party on my boat, call some ho's, There's a party on my boat, call some ho's.'

After the Chippers kicked our ass again,
I hired this cat with just one M
He can't spell his own name, but he's a proven leader.
Then I let part of our order go
To gain some youth, and save some dough
But the replacements couldn't hit the heater.
Our rotation was only halfway there
And with more lineup facelifts than even Cher
We just never could put it all together
And unlike the Cubs, we couldn't blame the weather
So we came up short, once a-gain
And the fans and media complain
'Til I think it starts to rot my brain
The day I held the line.

Chorus:

So, Bye-bye, pennant for the Astros, Drove my golf cart to the Wal-Mart But the Wal-Mart was closed, My good ol' team won it all for Colangelo Singing, 'Forty years, and nothing to show Forty years and still nothing to show.'

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