|
|
           |
 |
Character Sketches NORA HARTSON Current Address: That Tyrannosaurus white house on Pennsylvania Avenue. Occupation: Ha. Favorite President’s daughter? Amy Carter (Oh, like you can vote for yourself). Best perk about being you: I get to sleep with me (think about it). What’s the question you’ve always wanted answered? Why wasn’t Rich Little on Saturday Night Live when all he did was impressions? What would you buy with a million bucks? Doppler radar and a lightsaber. What’s the difference between fact and the truth? Truth matters. Magazines don’t. Who’s your favorite Corleone — Michael, Sonny, or Fredo? Fredo. What’s the difference between a hamster and a gerbil? I had a hamster; I didn’t have a gerbil. Living in the White House, is it true you have access to Tom Hanks’s e-mail address? Yeah — tomboy727@aol.com — and now so do you. Four-door or coupe? Coupe. Best TV show that’s been cancelled: Freaks and Geeks. Is there anything worse than the tobacco industry? You’ve obviously never spent two hours making small talk with the state legislators from Fresno. What’s the only state with a unicameral legislature? Nebraska. Are you cool? Do losers ask stupid questions? What’s wrong with America today? When kids are messed up – and I mean really messed up -- parents never blame themselves. Best way you ever heard yourself described? A devil in a private brawl. Last person you spoke to from junior high? They hate me; I hate them. French fries or onion rings? What’s that, some lame pick-up line? What’s the message on your answering machine? White House. Craziest thing you’ve ever done? That’d spoil the ending, Jacko. MICHAEL GARRICK Current Address: 2901 Connecticut Ave, NW, Washington, DC Occupation: White House lawyer. Favorite President’s daughter? Alice Roosevelt. Best perk about being you: Keen fashion sense and trustworthy loafers always impress the ladies. What’s the question you’ve always wanted answered? Whatever happened to the word "chummy?" Where’d it go? What would you buy with a million bucks? A house for my Dad. What’s the difference between fact and the truth? About ten points in a close election. Who’s your favorite Corleone — Michael, Sonny, or Fredo? Sonny. What’s the difference between a hamster and a gerbil? Hamsters have long tails, gerbils have short ones. Also, hamsters are noted for their impressive cheek pouches, in which they store food. Working in the White House, is it true you have access to Tom Hanks’s e-mail address? If Nora gave that to you, you can’t use it. I’m serious. Four-door or coupe? Coupe. Best TV show that’s been cancelled: (tie) St. Elsewhere and My So-Called Life. Is there anything worse than the tobacco industry? Tobacco lobbyists. What’s the only state with a unicameral legislature? Nebraska. Are you cool? Hey, even Madonna did a Pepsi ad. What’s wrong with America today? During a recent survey, the ten public figures most admired by kids were entertainers. How would you describe yourself? Honest. Last person you spoke to from junior high? Randi Boxer. French fries or onion rings? French fries. What’s the message on your answering machine? "Speak." Craziest thing you’ve ever done? Dated a lunatic. Want more answers to silly questions? Check out Brad's Q & A. Vote for where Brad should go on book tour. TOP |
   |
