"I'll call you a little bitch no matter what you have on your wall."
-Matt
"The Egyptians were stupid."
-Mike and Terry
"No unplugging any more body parts."
-Devina
"They come up from north and destroy everything and we run away."
-Mike
"Sounds like Poly Royale."
-Fred
"How much for Og?"
-Dave
"Don't make me crush your ego."
-Ter
"I can't sleep without you Terry."
-Devina
"You can't sleep with me either."
-Ter
"The only thing girls have on us is multiple orgasms and free dinner."
-Mike
"Girls may have PMS, but I'd like to see them have a second asshole like I did."
-Mike
"Mike, all you ever want is money. Money, and Cold Stone. All you ever want is money and Cold Stone... and chicks. That's all you ever want: money, Cold Stone and chicks... and weed. It's always money, Cold Stone, chicks and weed... and shrooms. Money, Cold Stone, chicks, weed, shrooms - nothing but these things... but also beer. Never anything but money, Cold Stone, chicks, weed, shrooms and beer except when you want music. Money, Cold Stone, chicks, weed, shrooms, beer and music are the only things you ever want, except for fun. You always want money, Cold Stone, chicks, weed, shrooms, beer, music and fun. Never anything else. Only these things.. and Fijian clothes. Money, Cold Stone, chicks, weed, shrooms, beer, music, fun, Fijian clothes... and backpacking shit. Solely money, Cold Stone, chicks, weed, shrooms, beer, music, fun, Fijian clothes and backpacking shit... and the panoramic views that come from backpacking... "
-Matt
"Stupid Aerobics BITCH!"
-Mike
"It's a lot easier if you can turn into an animal and screw like monkeys."
-Jeremy
"For every dead baby they find in a dumpster, there are 100 that they don't find!"
-Evan
"Yeah, going to a rave is like curling up with a good book."
-Matt
"Mike, remember when we were kids and you fell out of that tree and I carried you into the house and we got your arm all better? And you said, Matt, if there's ever any time you need spare change, I'm your man. And Mike, this is one of those times."
-Matt
"See you later guys. I'm gonna go turn on the lights with my computer."
-Scary Mike
"That would be great - puke down Jenn Graham's cleavage."
-undisclosed
"There's finally a reason to upgrade syslogd."
-Freshmeat.net
"I feel so righteous!"
-Mike
"You give a girl a rose - it's like saying, 'Hey baby you're on the rag.'"
-Matt
"She's on autobitch... you know like autopilot."
-Sean
"Do you like my impressionist art collection?"
-Greater Basilisk
"Oh him, I'll do him for free."
-Drakor the mage
"Ahhh my ass is happy."
-Matt
"Do you want a peanut butt crack?"
-Matt
"Sure."
-Mike
"I'm waiting for you to put it in."
-Sean G.
"Every time I blow my nose it's a rainbow of fruit flavors."
-Ter
"James looks like David Hasslehoff."
-Jer
"Bud is neither meat nor cheese."
-Jer
"She's an anal, anal bitch."
-Ter
"I'm not contaminated, I'm just ugly."
-Josh
"It's amazing what you learn after a few beers."
-Sean G.
"It's amazing how hard he's going to fuck us."
-Ter
"Yeah. I think I'll wear my prom dress just to get in the mood. Maybe shave my legs."
-Kevin Sigmund
"It's an ice brand flame tongue dancing defending sharp vorpal holy sun sword of power bludgeoning +1."
-Mike
"It's a vorpal backbiter of speed - cut off your own head first every round!"
-Jer and Mike
"Frank goes to college as a hobby and he's good at it! He is a genius."
-Mike and Scary Mike
"If you haven't been through a time warp before, you will."
-Scary Mike
"Firestone Double Barrel Ale - it slaps your taste buds around."
-Aaron
"He's a skinny guy who barfs all the time."
-Matt
"What'd your poop look like?"
-Cleve
"I didn't look."
-kid
"Liar!"
-Cleve
"It was a brain dump - I was barfing through the keyboard."
-Mike
"It was Staley spec writing."
-Aaron
"That's all we get? Chippity-chop and the leader's dead?"
-Beak
"I don't really think I have a personality."
-Scary Mike
"Katie was a poltergeist who left little pink pick-me-ups around the apartment."
-Mike
"Hey Mike, there's an ant in your teacup."
-Matt
"That's ok - it won't drink much."
-Mike
"There it is... 6 fat spliffs!"
-Mike
"But now is the time to get rid of dirty language."
-Col 3:8
"Dammit!"
-Matt
"There's a new API for windows: Active Blue Screen."
-Ter
"Download your Active BS now!"
-Mike
"He's almost like a bitch - he has a shoe for every occasion."
-Ter
"Bob Mathews looks at a Ritz and goes, mmmm fibonacci sequence."
-Kevin Sigmund
"We don't have anything new this week."
-Mike and Ter
"Bye."
-Gene Fisher (guh-fisher)
"Hemp... and overalls... and gorgeous... and acknowledged me."
-Mike
"Guinness... it's like a loaf of bread in a cup."
-Aaron
"Terry can't think of anything spherical without getting a hardon."
-Aaron
"Terry can't think of anything without getting a hardon."
-Mike
"Where'd it go? It waporized my nutsack!"
-Jer
"Tonight is bullet-to-the-gut night."
-Ter
"The liquid fast - that's not a fast!"
-Matt
"Are you all outdoor hippie weirdo too?"
-Mike
"I wish they wouldn't be so cheap and provide me with nicer bowls to steal."
-Matt
"I love scaring little kids."
-Mike
"I was goth and angry at the world."
-Scary Mike
"Windows 2000 is like hairy shoulders - it's just stupid."
-Mike
"You don't want to sound like a whiny bitch."
-Ter
"But I aaaaaaammm!"
-Matt
"<SSSNNNNOOOOOORRREEE>"
-Scary Mike
"Replacement for TCP 3 way handshake Client: So what's up B? Server: Watchin' the game, havin' a bud Client: 1, 1 "
-Ter
"Drugs are for sharing."
-Mike
"Marijuana turns you into a hopeless masturbator."
-Steve Ball
"I have a crush on you. Sorry."
-Matt
"rm -rf /brain/databases"
-Ter
"Because the little bitches deserved it!"
-Fargo@gameSpy
"Jeans are like napkins you wear *wipe wipe*"
-Kevin Sigmund
"This isn't a higher learning institute, it's a college!"
-Mike
"(mimicking the teacher) A to the k? A to the muthafuckin Zeeeeeeeeeee."
-Kevin Sigmund
"(about cutting in line) Oh no, I don't want to be /that/ guy."
-Kevin Sigmund
"Yes! No tests!"
-Kevin Sigmund
"kal poly kreats korporate klones"
-Scary Mike
"If I was psychic, I'd use my powers for evil."
-Leah
"This is great! I can't believe this is legal!"
-Leah
"It's not."
-Mike
"It was pleasant... with wings. :)"
-Scary Mike
"I don't think they are trying to shaft me by making mistakes. They shaft me enough without cheating."
-Mike
"We need 5.1 cleans of lye in each jar."
-Steve
"It will be a veritable gathering of hippies and freaks."
-Mike
"Which one are you?"
-Cathy
"Your pick."
-Mike
"(about Master's Degree in Computer Science at Purdue, of all places) More like bend-O(ver)."
-Ter
"If anything got fucked you fucked it."
-Mike
"Boy, you sure can shake a leg!"
-Some old drunk redneck at a toga party
"Men have a whole lifetime of sperm but women only have a certain time of good incubating uterus."
-Mike
"I was raised with no brothers and sisters on the top of a volcano on a tropical island in the middle of the ocean."
-Ryan
"Rule for life #1: Enjoy you life. Rule #2: Don't give a fuck."
-Andy
"The chicken distracted you... mmm I'm eating boiled chicken... back to taco."
-Scary Mike
"You could use it to patch a pair of pants, but you can't make a sleeping bag with Visual Basic."
-Mike
"Mmmm, you can't smell brain farts."
-Steve
"(about missing scissors, tape, chalk, whatever...) You sit on things and I put them behind the sewing machine."
-Steve
"Hey kids, here's a joint. You go get those two guys to put their dicks away and distract those cops so we can go home."
-MonkeyInferno
"Maybe it's because I thought I was eating Brioche, not drugs."
-Cynthia
"Dude, you ate a billygoat."
-Jer
(about a baby's bare butt on daddy's shoulders) "Nice, you got a guy on
crack, looking at crack."
-Agent M
"A skeleton should be able to support itself without any nuts."
-Mike D'
