It was night in the Koopa Castle, and Bowser and his kids had pooled all their resources, keeping very secret, very silent. Nothing had slipped out about the plan. No one would know what they were up to until it was too late. Their plan would succeed, and the human world and the Mushroom Kingdom would be theirs.

Bowser: All right you little brats! Get to bed! We have a busy day tomorrow. Kooky, Bully, Hip, Hop, Kootie Pie, Cheatsy, Bigmouth, get to bed! NOW!! Stop staring at me and GO!

Cheatsy: Uh… King Dad… there is an uh... spider… on... your head.

Bowser: What?! Shut up and go to ARRGGHHH!!! BLAHHH GET IT OFF! GUARDS!!!

Bowser screamed as several Hammer Brothers ran into the room and began to pitch hammers at Bowser’s head.

Bowser: OW... OW!! HEY, ARRGGHHH! Ow! Would you stop that?! Kill the spider! Not me!! AGGHHH! It’s crawling down my face! Do something!

Bowser screamed as the guards looked at each other and began throwing more hammers.

Bowser: OW! Hey OW! ARRGGHH! It’s crawling on my chest! AHHH it’s gonna bite me! It’s gonna bite me!

Kooky: Uh… King Dad... maybe if you stop screaming...

Several Koopas ran up and began beating Bowser in the chest with their hammers, knocking him to the ground.

Bowser: ARGGHH you idiots! Get off! Where's the spider?!

Everyone began looking around franticly.

Bowser: Ugh… it’s gone. You kids get to bed. I’m gonna quietly lay here and bleed to death.

All the kids ran to their rooms.

***

Kooky yawned softly as he crawled into bed and switched off the light.

Kooky: Ahh. Tomorrow… I shall take over the Mushroom Kingdom… yeah. After that… we’ll take over the armory… and mount an attack on the human world…yeah. I think… I’d  take over China… yeah… China for sure… definitely…

Kootie Pie: Kooky?

Kooky: AHH! … Kootie Pie?

Kootie Pie: What?

Kooky: What are you doing in my bed?

Kootie Pie: Um… the castle heater's broken, and my room is freezing.

Kooky: Isn’t that too bad? Go away, I’m trying to sleep.

Kootie Pie: Ok.

Kooky: Good. … Now then… back to China- Kootie Pie?

Kootie Pie: What?

Kooky: … Why are you still here?

Kootie Pie: It’s cold in my room… and you have all these nice warm blankets… and you're warm.

Kooky: Yes, well, that may be, but I…YAGHH! YOUR FEET ARE LIKE ICE!!!

Kootie Pie: That’s not my feet.

Hip: Geez, you ARE warm.

Kooky: W, what?! Hip, get out of my room! Kootie Pie, get out of my room! Everyone OUT!

Kootie Pie: … I’m hungry.

Hip: You should be, you barely eat at dinnertime.

Kootie Pie: Well… I have to watch my shape.

Hip: Round is a shape… you're round.

Kootie Pie: … Are you calling me fat… Hip?

Hop: Yes, he is.

Kooky: Hop?

Hop: Yeah?

Kooky: … Leave… right now… all of you.

Kootie Pie: What on EARTH are you saying? Did you call me fat?! Kid, I WILL tear your shell off and use it as a… a…

Bully: Shut UP! Man... I’m trying to get some sleep… and move over!

Kooky: Ugh… where did you come from?

Bully: An egg.

Hip: HAHAHAHA!

Kooky: Ugh… why are you all HERE?!

Cheatsy: Because, you have the biggest bed in the castle, and the most covers.

Kooky: Grr… get… out… NOW!

Kootie Pie: Who’s claw is that?

Cheatsy: Quit hoggin’ the covers!

Hip: Dude, get your leg off me!

Hop: That’s not my leg.

Bigmouth: it’s mine!

Kooky: Yay... the gang's all here… hooray.

Bigmouth: Yes it is I Bigmouth! Hahaha !I’m here because i’m so cold in my room! These blankets are so- Ack!

Bully: You… are going to shut up… understand?

Bigmouth: Yes sir.

Bully: Darn right.

Hip: …

Hop: …

Cheatsy:…

Kooky: Zzz...

Kootie Pie: Um…

Bully: What?

Kootie Pie: Who’s claw is running up my leg? ... Cause I’m about to kill someone…

Bully: … Claw check.

At that point everyone held their claws up above the covers.

Hip: Mine are clear.

Hop: As are mine

Bigmouth: Yup mine too!

Bully: Yeah, me too.

Cheatsy: Nope, not me.

Kootie Pie: … Kooky?

Kooky: Zzz...

Everyone Awake: KOOKY!

Kooky: Wha… what? What?

Kootie Pie: Ok… Kooky… get your claws off my belly.

Kooky held his claws over his head.

Kooky: What are you talking about?

Hip: …

Hop: …

Bully: …

Bigmouth: …

Kootie Pie: …

Cheatsy: …

Kooky: …

Everyone: SPIDER! BLAHHH!!!

Kooky jumped up and flipped on the light switch.

Cheatsy: Ow, my eyes!

Kooky: WHERE’D IT GO?!

Kootie Pie: ITS ON YOUR HEAD!

Kooky: ARGGHH! GET IT OFF!

Hip: I got it!

Kooky: OW! YOU HIT ME!

Hip: Where’s the spider?

Hop: On your shell!

Hip: … K… kill it!

Hop: Um… someone get something.

Hip: Hurry up!

Bully: I have a baseball bat!

Kooky: Where did that come from?

Bully: I dunno. Let's whack it!

Hip:  Um... what are you guys doing?

Hop: Hold still Hip…

Hip: Wait, wait... what's going on?

Kooky: Oooone...

Kootie Pie: Twoooo...

Hip: Wait! it’s gone!

Bully: Aww… where’d it go?

Kooky: I dunno. Let's all go to bed. Come on, I’m sleepy.

Bully: Yeah, sure, let's go to AGGHHH IT’S ON YOUR HEAD WENDY!

Kootie Pie: ... No it’s not. Go to sleep.

Bully: Yes it is!

Kootie Pie: R, really?

Bully: Naw.

Kootie Pie: You JERK! I oughta ARRGGHHH IT REALLY IS ON MY HEAD!!!

Kooky: It is 3 AM. Could you PLEASE all go to SLEEEE AHHHH IT’S ON WENDY’S HEAD!

Hip: Duh.

Hop: Duh.

Cheatsy: Zzz...

Bigmouth: Zzz I’m gonna be rich! Zzz…

Kooky: Look... just… go... to... sleep... after we... kill it... no one... move.

Bully: Where’d the bat go?

Kootie Pie: Someone… help… kill it… hurry up.

Bowser: If… you kids... don’t pipe down... and go to... sleep…

Kootie Pie: D, Daddy… it’s on my head… it’s on my HEAD!!!

Bowser: HOLY CRUD!

Kooky: Uh… King Dad… Isn’t that a Spider on your leg?

Bowser: Not now Kooky, your sister needs help.

Kooky: Uh... King Dad?

Bowser: Didn’t I just say… oh… AGHHHH! Kill it!

Suddenly guards ran in and began pelting Bowser with hammers.

Bowser: OW! OW! Stop that! You Guys STINK!

Hammer Brothers: Um… sir… there are… uh… three... spiders... on your… um... back.

Bowser: WHAT?! SWEET MERCIFUL ($#(!!! RUN!!! THE CASTLE'S INFESTED!!!

Everyone: AHHH!!!

And so, everyone ran away and stayed in a five star luxury hotel for the next eight weeks while the castle was renovated.

Mario: Hee hee! Luigi, you think-a that those-a spiders we let-a loose scared everyone out of the castle?

Luigi: Yup, let's go have a look at their secret plans.

And so they did, and the world was saved.

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