Okay, this story is waaaay overdue. Of course, I've been busy so, I have an excuse. In case you didn't get a chance to see it, The Asshole Memorial to the T.R.U.T.H.'s "Tobacco Memorial in
which they claimed to mourn for the "millions tobacco has murdered." I, and my associates, thought that this was a bunch of crap since the other 364 days of the year they have nothing but contempt for us
smokers. So I erected an Asshole Memorial, AS A JOKE, that predicted the gruesome, and I thought comical deaths of some of the kids that run T.R.U.T.H.'s website. This was by NO stretch of
the imagination a serious document. Well, somehow T.R.U.T.H. got wind of it and apparently they were not too pleased. At 9:00 AM one Tuesday morning in September, there was a loud banging on my dorm room
door. My roommate got up to answer it and found two men from the FBI. When they told him they wanted to speak with me, he got out of there as quickly as possible. I can't say I blame him. The
two FBI agents sat at my bedside and explained that the Asshole Memorial was technically a "death threat" punishable by fine or imprisonment. My reaction was literally, "You've got to be shitting me."
Apparently, one of two things happened. Either T.R.U.T.H. people were really frightened that I was going to come murder them in the ludicrous ways mentioned on this site or they are indeed assholes and just
wanted to cause me as much trouble as was humanly possible. I suspect the latter. Well, needless to say, I didn't get fined or imprisoned. In fact, the FBI agents told me that they themselves knew
it was a bunch of bullshit, but had to come out because it was an offense. They even said they thought THEFALSE was pretty damn funny! Oi! So, as to avoid complications, The Asshole Memorial is no
more.
Just as a footnote, I found out that a good portion of T.R.U.T.H. kids are sons and daughters of government officials. So, I guess that's what warranted the FBI visit. I have pissed
off important people in our political system. Consider my life's goal fulfilled.
Jeremy@thefalse.com
