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Getting *out* of industry

This is a variation on a theme that has appeared a number of times 
before, but I'm hoping that someone here will have some insight into it. 
I've had one year of CS/math in college, before leaving on what was 
originally intended to be a one-year leave of absence, but developed 
into four years of professional programming work in San Francisco and 
the Silicon Valley. Now, my fiance is about to finish her BA, and I'm 
looking for a school (either in the US or abroad) that is friendly to 
non-traditional CS students.

I've had reasonable success in "the real world," and have even had the 
privilege of working with formal methods, functional languages, etc. 
That exposure has made me realize that I would very much like to have 
time to develop the theoretical background and research skills I need to 
move in the direction of a PhD in mathematics or CS.

My basic problem is that I don't think that I could really stomach three 
years of C++ and VB development in a run-of-the-mill state university 
"software engineering" track while I wait to apply for grad school and 
do "real" CS work. Also, as I've been working in a commercial 
environment through the period in which most of my peers have been 
attending college, I'm somewhat disconnected from the usual application, 
enrollment, and finiancial aid processes that are designed for those 
coming straight out of high school.

So, does anyone have recommendations for such a program or institution? 
I really am flexible about location, though my "better half" prefers 
areas with decent weather ;). My primary concern is, as I said, that the 
program be open to and appropriate for non-traditional students, and 
hopefully allow me enough flexibility in couse selection to avoid 
spending all my time studying C++/Java/C#. A fairly active AI and/or 
formal methods program would certainly be a big plus, as well.

Thanks in advance,

Lennon Day-Reynolds