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Documentaries

Contents
Why gossip?
As happy as Larry
The uncovered web
Cheese
Pointy ears - Why?
What is this Life business anyway?
Unicorn ailments
The nature of reality
Lemmings- why do they do it?
THE VEGETABLE CONSPIRACY, PART II: THE CARROTS
The vegetable conspiracy, Part I: The Cabbages




 

The vegetable conspiracy, Part II: The Carrots

(Continued from Part I: The Cabbages, June 1998)

There is a menace, a force, lurking even behind the cabbages. Biding its time. Waiting for the right moment to strike. It can wait. It knows not the ravages of time. Yes my friends I am talking of the menace known simply as the Carrots. People seem to think that Cabbages or Congress or such represent the greatest imaginable threat to the very fabric of our society. They are wrong, so terribly wrong. Not just the terribly wrong you get when you roll over next doors cat, but the terribly wrong where you accidentally set fire to the municipal libary. You may say that I know nothing of carrots or the threat they represent. You may say I am making this up as I go along. Well at least I don't go round burning down libaries. The threat is a serious one my friends. The carrots are the head enchilados. The big cheeses. The great dane. The dubious fishes. Orion major. Goats are nothing. Mere shrimps of the Carrots. Prawns I mean. Alright, pawns, but the point is that, compared to the Carrots, the Cabbages are like those little horses with no bodies and Congress is only like those cooks. So, my friends, stay away from the carrots. Thank you.




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