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The web is growing at an incredible pace. The media hype
surrounding it is also growing at an equally impressive rate.
But somehow, despite all the daily commentary and hoopla,
a profoundly significant milestone in the development
of the web recently passed us by without any fanfare.
Reporters have often speculated on how long a list of
all the subjects discussed on the web would be. The
consensus media opinion appears to be that if all the subjects
were laid end to end on a single sheet of paper, and that
sheet was held vertically so that it stretched out into space,
then it probably wouldn't make much of a story unless the
president's DNA were found on the paper.
We did our own calculations, and were stunned by the results.
According to our data, on August 17, 1998, it became easier
to list all the topics not discussed on the web rather than
to exhaustively enumerate all those already covered on it.
If this is so, then the web is the first medium for which this
statement has ever been true. For the record, we believe this
threshold was
passed with the addition of one of our own articles -- on the
origins of cheese -- but it is difficult to be certain about this.
No doubt this claim will be contested as different sites vie
for this important position in the annals of human history.
This discovery presents us with an exciting opportunity. Rather
than attempting to create a definitive listing of all topics
covered on the web, which requires huge investments of time
to keep up with the burgeoning growth of the internet, it is now much more
practical to keep a listing of all the topics not covered
on the web. We at the Broken Plank, in the hopes of being the
next Yahoo!, are preparing enthusiastically to provide this
vital service. Here is a sampling from a
list of subjects which, to the best of
our knowledge, have not yet been discussed on the web:
- The wheelbarrow's role in the development of oriental mysticism.
- A worldwide comparative analysis of tunes whistled by janitors
and cleaning staff.
- The rather interesting big round rock with barnacles on one side
found on a rather interesting beach in the late '20s.
- The singing, dancing pieces of blue fluff. Trained by Daphne.
Hello Daphne!
- Pictures of rotten cabbages used as props during philosophy
lectures on existentialism and postmodernism.
- The Not the Swedish Weather homepage. Maintained by Yuurgen.
If you have any suggestions for this list, please... well...
suggest them!
Disclaimer: The claims made in this article are
groundless, false, and typical of the kind of nonsense the
youth of today are always coming up with, when they're not
too busy disrespecting their elders and taking shortcuts
through my dahlia bed.
Disclaimer: Yes. Okay. Obviously everything
we listed above, by simply appearing in our list on the web,
could by definition no longer appear in the list. Humour us
please. And stay out of those damned dahlias!
Youngsters these days.
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